He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
