At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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