I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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