i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
