As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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