I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
