he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
