I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
