remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
is wine microwaveable?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
