Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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