just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
