ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
