My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
