You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is dick and wine.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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