I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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