$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
