If that was your dad, he is hot
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
