But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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