Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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