I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
