Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i out mim tonsoeep
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