how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
