I feel great
I just peed on a car
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
