OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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