so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
