I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
