dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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