So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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