I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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