fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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