I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
