I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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