Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
