they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
