Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
How's work?
Spinning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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