R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
