Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
