I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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