My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
