exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dear god my vagina.
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