Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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