whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
