i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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