Joe is yelling at the trees again.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
