are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
