That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
