Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
