o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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