When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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