Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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