Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
