hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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