marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
