I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
be right there i have to get my cape
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
