You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
