One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
