Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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