you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
