hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Houston, we have a squirter
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
