maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
