i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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