how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
