i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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