i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize